An Obroni's Story: Is this really the end?

November 10, 2010

Well, readers, this is it. I’ve come to the end of my service here in Ghana. Next Tuesday, the 16th, I will be leaving my site for the last time. I will spend about a week in and around Accra, having my Close of Service (COS) medical and administrative appointments. I will also tie up some loose ends and possibly even make it back to my homestay family one final time. On Thanksgiving I will attend lunch at the ambassador’s house, say my final goodbyes to volunteers and fly home that night. Once I land in Newark, NJ on November 26, 2010 around 2:00pm I will truly and completely be done.
The past few weeks have been nothing but an emotional roller coaster for me. But before I came back to site to start what would eventually become the closing out of my time here in Anamase, I did have a little Halloween fun. Casimir, Josh, and I went to the hideout- a cute little beach resort in the Western region that I had been putting off for... well, two years. I am so glad I went! It was such a nice relaxing trip and exactly what I needed before leaving site/Ghana. We ate good food, relaxed on the beach, played some hardcore ping pong and even swam in the water. Im glad it was just the three of us, much calmer than a huge group of volunteers going crazy at the beach. Anyway, after the beach I ventured to Alex’s site for a halloween party and what felt like my first real goodbye to some volunteers. We had a lot of fun, played with the glow sticks my mom sent. I will include some pictures from the beach in this post at the bottom.
And that brings me to this past week. Closing out projects, cleaning out what has been my home for the past two years, visiting places that have meant so much to me during my time here, and seeing volunteers and Ghanaians for what might be the very last time. As we all know, my time here has been extremely bipolar, good one day, bad the next- especially in my first year. This second year has not been much different except for a better understanding on my part of how to manage my time and deal with difficult situations. Obviously nothing turned out the way I could have ever imagined, and in the end, I’m okay with that. I did the best I could in every situation and hope that my efforts were not wasted. I’m pretty happy with everything so in my mind, they weren’t.
Lately Ive been reflecting back over my two years... they went by much faster than I thought they would. I try not to think about what will happen when I return home but I know the inevitable truth. I may never see some of these people again. And I’m not talking about volunteers. Obviously my contact with them will live on in the land of technology. But as for Ghanaians... phone contact is limited and expensive. They don’t have mail boxes or postal services. And besides all that, a lot of my friends here speak such minimal English anyway... communication has always been difficult.
I spent two years here watching my community grow and change. Babies were born and are now two years old... some kids are now talking, walking, yelling my name and giving me hugs when I return from traveling... People I know are now married, some even have kids. People I know passed away. Moved away. Lost jobs. Lost crops. Lost money. Strangers are now friends. Friends are now family. I can walk around town and not have to explain myself to everyone. I can speak Twi enough to talk to most people I meet.
I know that life in my town will pretty much continue on in the same way without me. I know to some, soon I will just be the small white girl who liked cats and lived in town for a few years. They will tell their friends and family in other towns about me. I will become a distant memory. A white ghost. I think this is inevitable. I mean, two years in someone else's lifetime is not long. It really isn't. But I really hope that in these two years I was able to make some kind of difference in their lives. Especially with the kids. Especially with the girls. I don't want to credit myself with any child's progress, but I can still see it. I see my friends speaking more English than they did when I first met them. I see more kids going to school. I see kids actually wanting to go to school. I see kids wanting to read books, having ideas of their own, and daring to be just a little different. If I inspired even one of my students or friends or neighbors to do their best- actually motivated them to try something new, then I can go home happy.
In the end, I know the person I’ve changed most during my time of service has ultimately been myself. This was always the case right from the very beginning. Everyone in Peace Corps knows that by committing yourself to this job, you grow as a person. There is no way to live alone in a place so different from home and NOT change.
I’m really glad I went home this summer and saw a lot of my family and friends. That will make my real return home easier. It will still be difficult. Cold weather aside, I need to realize that this is it, and I’m home for good. I need to look for jobs, I need to figure out my life. I am ready to move on from my experience as a Peace Corps volunteer though I am still not sure where to go from here. I always hoped these two years would really point me in the direction I want my life to go... but the only thing I’ve really learned in that respect is that I don’t particularly want to do development work. At least, not in this way.
That leaves me with options... I am considering Federal jobs, Peace Corps jobs... although to be honest, the idea of a real job after being here is rather scary. I’m pretty excited to do real work but I hope I will be up to it. So much of my time here has been spent sitting around... can I still manage to effectively contribute to some kind of job? Especially a government job? We’ll see.
For now, I just need to cope with saying goodbye to this place. Once I’ve left my community the idea of going home will really start to hit me... and I’ve got my resume all ready to go for when that happens. Look for another update sometime in the next week before I leave for America. Until then, thanks for reading.